The Power of Choice

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These times are not easy and its absolutely not at all easy to shift our attention to anything but the uncertainly of the present moment but we all need each other to do so. We all need ourselves and each other to keep life moving forward.

Life keeps moving forward whether you are ready for it or not, whether you want it to or not. Resistance always reveals itself to be the only pain.

Everything does happen for a reason. The current moment would not have happened if the previous moment did not take place. We merely do not always know what caused the current moment but something did.

The only way to be in alignment with our best selves in the present moment is to have not resisted the previous one. Pain leads to happiness and happiness will lead to pain, or discomfort, over and over again. That is the nature of life.

If you give yourself a chance, some time to try again and again, you may find yourself engrossed in some task that makes you feel better. Get your attention off yourself and focus on something that will effect your future, that will effect our future.

I am so grateful for our clients with future events. Events we are currently assuming won’t be cancelled. They immediately take our minds into the future and keep them in the reality that this too shall pass. There may be a new normal but life will continue.

I am grateful for the added time I currently have to work on some long term projects that I had previously been battling time to complete.

I am grateful that I can be accountable to my own time. I still do have the power of choice and the power to choose my thoughts.

I am grateful for my health.

I am grateful that I took that plunge ten years ago to work for myself.

I am so grateful for my partner who is lovingly putting up with me and vise versa. Who meditates with me each morning, cooks with me and takes yoga with me.

I am grateful that I have discipline that I attribute in large part to having been a performer and a ballet dancer as a child. Its coming in way handy now.

I am grateful to my clients that are so appreciative of the time I am giving them during these odd times.

I am grateful for the fresh food I still have in the fridge.

I am grateful for everything that wedding planning has taught me, and event planning too. God, it teaches a ton. And working for yourself teaches you a ton. It makes you stronger than you ever thought you could be.

I am grateful for the work I have done on myself to get me to this moment because it makes these times far easier and there is still room for joy.

I hope....

In the long run I hope these times make us less judgmental, more grateful, more simple, less petty, more creative, more down to earth and connected as we now know how to better focus on what matters most.

XO

Ashley

P.S. Don’t judge my poor grammar please. :-)

Ashley was interviewed by Greenwich Tent Co.

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Greenwich Tent Co. interviewed Ashley recently. Catch it live on their blog HERE or read it below!

It’s an honor to be trusted planning an event that client’s imbue with so much passion and importance. Weddings have only the extent of meaning that the client’s give them and a client that hires an event planner such as ourselves, has high expectations. We love a creative project and a good challenge. Also, there is a lot we take for granted, skills that come easy to us that are intimating or foreign to a client. Details that we discern that clients would not have. Details that alter the planning experience or guest experience or both, that may or may not be visual. There is so much that does not meet the eye because the planning just works out in the end, seamlessly. Lastly, we also know our involvement helps alleviate conflict both between family members and couples. That alone makes our roles rewarding and valuable. Gratitude. 

Their interview:

Event Planners, or as I like to call them the fairy Godmothers of all things wedding and special events related, are really the glue to every single aspect of your wedding day/event. They help piece together your dream vision while giving you ideas and feedback through each decision from the catering, floral designs and guest experience! 

Ashley Douglass Events is the total package with the motto of "seamless planning for luxury events". We have worked with her and her team for the past few years and the work that they have done is stunning and we though you should see it for yourself!! 

Her experience in this industry:

Her previous history is in the professional theatre both in NYC and regionally. She grew up in a professional theatre family and was a serious ballet student all throughout childhood so “production time” was just part of her life. While still in the theater as she got older she worked as a staff trainer for a larger NYC restaurant group. For her it was ideal because when she needed a job, be it for a month or four, she always had a restaurant to be placed into and sometimes was helping to open a new restaurant too. She moved to LA in her late 20s and did the same work on the side and eventually her name started circulated as a subcontracted wedding or event coordinator. That was when she first got the wedding bug. Ashley shadowed some designers as well, laying the groundwork for a future job all the while still performing. She then went back to school to become a therapist and in tandem started to book her own weddings. Without planning it a new career emerged and picked up speed prior to completing her training hours as a therapist so she went for it. That was about 9 years ago.

How she got started and what made her choose this career:

Ashley always wanted to work for herself. That was a must. She says she is for sure right brained but also love detail and a hard challenge. The harder the job the better she will do. With weddings and events, you see the final outcome which is the ideal reward. Ashley also has a few other business ideas up her sleeve but we will get back to her on that!

What geographic areas she services:

She works in NYC, Hamptons, Hudson Valley to the Berkshires, Vermont and Fairfield County CT. She also work where ever her clients take her. They have also planned in CA, CO, FL, TX and Mexico.

For 2020 + 2021 we are also planning for the Caribbean and Madrid is pending. Catch us on Instagram soon. 

Her favorite part about being an event planner:

Happy clients make a happy planner. Ashley feels good to be in a job that you are good at, as silly as that may sound. She is good with people I believe, detail and design.

What Ashley likes about working with a tent for a wedding reception versus an indoor space:

She finds that its important to have a tented event even if you are in a location that does not get much rain, having a main structure calls for guests to focus and you are able to do what you want aesthetically. You can be outside in the woods and have a formal event. She loves lighting and a barren tent gives you options! 

How she discovered Greenwich Tent and why she enjoys working with us:

She began working with us back when we were first only Sperry Tents Greenwich. You're a growing company that still feels and operates like a small family company. Clients value that! 

Some of her favorite events she has done with us!

A New Canaan wedding the night after the Supreme Court ruled same sex marriage as legal. Click Here to see the full story!

A wedding at Glenmere Mansion where the bride actually let her mother do a majority of the planning since she was busy with her career and wanted her mom to have some fun with it! 

And a wedding at The Country Club of Fairfield where her parents got married sixty two years before. Click Here to see the full story!

If you are equally as happy seeing their gorgeous events then pop over to their Instagram!

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Thanks so much to our friends at Greenwich Tent for interviewing us especially during a busy time, Fall!

Ashley D. and team

Divide + Conquer

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Divide and conquer: your task list. The to-do list for planning a wedding is way longer than some anticipate at first, and will seem to only get longer as planning progresses. Too many cooks in the kitchen is usually a recipe for endless stress.  You are more likely to cave to someone else's opinion because you just want the conflict to be over with, which is different then consciously and happily choosing for one person to have what they want to make them happy. You may even begin to agree with a cook you have a conflict with and then walk away and wonder when the heck just happened, no! 

Divide up all your tasks and then let the cooks in the kitchen know which course they are being assigned to. Who is most passionate about what? Who has a better eye or mind for one task versus another? Where will they feel and be of most value? You can always give them a few choices, that you have chosen, so it feels like they are making a choice too, and they are! Having a few ideas to choose from is always better than just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks.

Think of the larger areas of action like hotels, catering, decor and music as subheadings for planning. Then collaboratively conquer each to-do with the one or two people assigned to that area. You can do this with or without a planner involved. A great wedding planner is able to navigate multiple relationships with you that may all funnel into the planning of one wedding, to help you stay sane, organized and cohesive. 

ADE Blog Quote (kitchen) (2).jpg

Only real friends should be your wedding guests

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Couples who have been married only a few years often remark how there were so many people at their wedding, or even bridal party, who they no longer speak to. They have fallen off the face of the Earth since the wedding. Maybe life shifts, attentions divert, people move away. For the most part, included in this group are people with which your bonds may have been superficial. 

Do not invite certain people to look good. Do not fear you will look less than if this or that person does not attend your wedding too. So what if they were in your fraternity - be the cool discerning outlier and do not invite everyone. There are other innovative people in your alumni association that will accomplish more and be a better contact for life, and they do not care about being invited to your wedding. Similarly, do not invite people that will attend your wedding just because they too have FOMO. Your wedding day is too meaningful for that. 

Do not invite work friends that are not going to be friends after you change your job. Invite no one for work. If anyone asks say it was your in-laws rule. Just think how much less annoying it will be if you plan on keeping your job. No endless stories for years to come about your gross cake (joking) or the time Timmy decided to use the bushes to relieve himself and your grandma saw. Joking again or maybe not. Additionally, your parents should not be allowed to invite their work friends either, and that goes for both sets of parents.

Lastly, in the New York City and surrounding suburban areas it is really hard to find many attractive venues that have a guest count at or exceeding 250 people. There are enough venues that push their max capacity to be more attractive to more couples. If you doubt how comfortable their max capacity would be for you and your guests, then you may want to ask your coordinator to tell it like it is - is your guest count pushing it? Maybe ask for some photos of past weddings with a higher guest count or stalk instagram.

Having problems with your guest count? Ask yourselves who really will be there for you in five years. Those who are there for you for the long run do not need an event or milestone to take place in order to stay in touch and vice versa on your end as well. Plus, a smaller wedding makes for a more intimate wedding, which often times equates to a more relaxed atmosphere.

True friends = wedding guests

New Year’s State of Mind 2018

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Every year I give books as gifts and below are this year’s picks. 

Waking Up by Sam Harris

Oh and download the app too. Harris’ book is an exploration of spirituality for those of you that are as interested as I am in the nature of reality.  Both knowledge of and the experience of reality come about by way of our minds. I’ll leave it at that. Headspace is also a great app too and I have heard of some other great meditation apps. Try them all!

Thirst by Scott Harrison 

The biography of charity: Water’s founder Scott Harrison. I adore this organization as many of you do I am sure. Not just because of its mission but because of its transparency. Harris is someone who has truly thought outside the box and gone far. He is truly an inspiration. 

Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferris

I am a Tim Ferris fan. Pick up Four Hour Work Week too if you have not already and do not poo poo it because of its catchy title. In Tribe of Mentors, Ferris asks a bunch of successful people questions such as; ‘what is the book, or books, you’ve given most as a gift and why?’ Or ‘what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?’ ‘What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months, or recent memory?’ For me, that would be the app Waking Up. Headspace is both a great read and purchase because you can read one of these entries before bed say without needing the added concentration a novel calls for. 

Happy Reading! 

Enough of that….

Each year I do this New Years end blog. Unbeknownst to me, my year-end blog post has really resonated with those who read it. A few vendors and friends have asked about this years post. A few of you also know that this past year has personally been a noteworthy one, which for us all here is the same thing as a professionally noteworthy year. I am sure many of you are probably thinking ‘something went horribly wrong; or ‘something really good happened.’ Well, both inclinations are entirely wrong. It is this year that I have grown the most and subsequently ADE has grown the most.

I did have a health scare earlier this year, but this noteworthy of a year began well before that.

Each year I ask myself where I want to go and how I’m going to start down this renewed path. This is why I love the New Year - Planning! To drive this idea home, more often than not I will only have one glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve! New Years is the most religious of holidays for me.

About a year ago, I began to take a good inventory of my life. I literally wrote a mini pamphlet for myself on living my own life. No, you will never see this. It went through revisions, discoveries and more revisions. I can narrow it down to this………

I have three words: Simplicity, Intimacy and Wealth. If you fancy the word abundance more you can replace it with that.

I greatly value Time. Our mind is the primarily tool for making use of that time. Time looses its value if our mind cannot show up to meet it. Time is all we have.

Do not look at your emails on your phone and perhaps include in this list your texts as well, until after you are ready to show up for the day. For me it is after having had my morning coffee, some water and meditation.

What is most important to us here on a day-by-day basis is productivity. I am a recovering perfectionist that has resolved herself to excellence instead. As technology is designed to distract us, I do not let technology take control of my time or productivity.  If we allow each bell, whistle, prompt, text and alarm to take our attention there will be nothing left of us. We will loose ourselves and our ability to create whatever we have to offer. 

I have been meditating for well over a year now, every single day, sometimes twice a day. Just try meditation. I promise you, after some time, you will “get it” and not know how you ever went without it! Maybe I will write another blog post on this soon.

I also write in a journal every day and have been writing pretty much my whole life. I think you should too.

I work out at least five days a week. I always have and if I do not, I am not ‘normal Ashley.’ 

I read every day. I think you should too, and social media does not count. 

Nothing is ever about you. I repeat, nothing is ever about you.

Show up more and do less.

You really do feel, look and think better if you predominantly eat veggies. And living longer is worth it. 

We crave authenticity and we hope you do too.

Struggling is a habit. You can stop struggling and still accomplish as much, maybe even more!

Most days I commit to tackling the hardest thing first and move on from there.

We schedule time in the office because the more time we spend outside of the office; the less work we get done.

Everything that happens to you, happens for you. This is my life motto. 

You really have to take care of you first to take care of others. Doing otherwise is not a badge of honor but a selfish cry for attention, its you making it about you. 

That is all folks! Until next year! xo