Divide + Conquer

Divide and conquer: your task list. The to-do list for planning a wedding is way longer than some anticipate at first, and will seem to only get longer as planning progresses. Too many cooks in the kitchen is usually a recipe for endless stress.  You are more likely to cave to someone else's opinion because you just want the conflict to be over with, which is different then consciously and happily choosing for one person to have what they want to make them happy. You may even begin to agree with a cook you have a conflict with and then walk away and wonder when the heck just happened, no! 

Divide up all your tasks and then let the cooks in the kitchen know which course they are being assigned to. Who is most passionate about what? Who has a better eye or mind for one task versus another? Where will they feel and be of most value? You can always give them a few choices, that you have chosen, so it feels like they are making a choice too, and they are! Having a few ideas to choose from is always better than just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks.

Think of the larger areas of action like hotels, catering, decor and music as subheadings for planning. Then collaboratively conquer each to-do with the one or two people assigned to that area. You can do this with or without a planner involved. A great wedding planner is able to navigate multiple relationships with you that may all funnel into the planning of one wedding, to help you stay sane, organized and cohesive. 

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Only real friends should be your wedding guests

Couples who have been married only a few years often remark how there were so many people at their wedding, or even bridal party, who they no longer speak to. They have fallen off the face of the Earth since the wedding. Maybe life shifts, attentions divert, people move away. For the most part, included in this group are people with which your bonds may have been superficial. 

Do not invite certain people to look good. Do not fear you will look less than if this or that person does not attend your wedding too. So what if they were in your fraternity - be the cool discerning outlier and do not invite everyone. There are other innovative people in your alumni association that will accomplish more and be a better contact for life, and they do not care about being invited to your wedding. Similarly, do not invite people that will attend your wedding just because they too have FOMO. Your wedding day is too meaningful for that. 

Do not invite work friends that are not going to be friends after you change your job. Invite no one for work. If anyone asks say it was your in-laws rule. Just think how much less annoying it will be if you plan on keeping your job. No endless stories for years to come about your gross cake (joking) or the time Timmy decided to use the bushes to relieve himself and your grandma saw. Joking again or maybe not. Additionally, your parents should not be allowed to invite their work friends either, and that goes for both sets of parents.

Lastly, in the New York City and surrounding suburban areas it is really hard to find many attractive venues that have a guest count at or exceeding 250 people. There are enough venues that push their max capacity to be more attractive to more couples. If you doubt how comfortable their max capacity would be for you and your guests, then you may want to ask your coordinator to tell it like it is - is your guest count pushing it? Maybe ask for some photos of past weddings with a higher guest count or stalk instagram.

Having problems with your guest count? Ask yourselves who really will be there for you in five years. Those who are there for you for the long run do not need an event or milestone to take place in order to stay in touch and vice versa on your end as well. Plus, a smaller wedding makes for a more intimate wedding, which often times equates to a more relaxed atmosphere.

True friends = wedding guests

NICOLE + ROSS | Blue Hill Stone Barns | Tarrytown, New York | October 2017

This wedding was a joy to plan. During the planning process, Nicole and her mother had somewhat different tastes in aesthetics. However, it was their combined love for the beautiful venue at Stone Barns coupled with our own ability to be not only diplomatic but also showcase ideas that they would both love which, in the end, set them up for success.

One element of their design that was different than most of our weddings is that they both favored paper that had considerable detail. They both moved forward with intricately designed invitations and save the dates a bit on their own and had good renderings early so the over all design fit into the paper details.

Being cohesive was super important to them both and, in particular, the Mother of the Bride. The family entertains enough at home and had learned from past experience that they love consistency. There are many details you cannot see in their photography. Details such as the ribbon and name tags on the flip flops and blankets. Other details like their specialty coffee and hot cocoa station, their enormous and cool outdoor lounge with plenty of games for those less inclined to dance.

You never know what is going to stick after a wedding. The couple’s adorable and memorable first dance, well rehearsed after months of classes, made the whole room tear up. Then the best man speech had so much love you wanted to hug your neighbor. The surprise, albeit less emotional, was the guest’s love for their linens and napkins. Multiple guests asked the Mother of the Bride where their beautiful La Tavola linens came from and they also asked about the dinner napkins, which also came from La Tavola. In fact, two ladies called us separately asking where to purchase their velvet ecru linen lined napkin!

We anxiously await July of 2019 when we will be back at the one-and-only charming Blue Hill at Stone Barns for another buyout!

Happy venue shopping and congratulations again to Nicole + Ross.

Photography by Craig Warga Weddings

Planning + Design | Ashley Douglass Events

Venue | Blue Hill at Stone Barns

Band | FAZE 4 Orchesteras LTD “Scott Yunney Band”

Photographer | Craig Warga Weddings

Videographer | 15 Minutes of Frame

Florist | Blade NYC

Photobooth | New England Selfie

Lighting | Pegasus Productions

Hair | Indulge Salon

Make Up | Hope Landry

Bridal Attire | A Little Something White

Rental Company | Nuage Designs

Rental Company II | Party Rental LTD

Rental Company III | La Tavola


KATERINA + BRIAN | Country Club of Fairfield | Southport, Connecticut | October 2017

This wedding was featured on the ever popular Over The Moon (OTM) blog in April of 2018. This wedding will also soon appear, in print, in the pages of Fairfield Living Magazine.

This wedding was a long time coming. While we were hired just about a year out from their wedding date, the parents of the bride took Ashley out to dinner to discuss their daughters FUTURE wedding almost four years ago. We had been in business four years at that time and they did not know when exactly this young man, this future son-in-law of theirs, was going to finally propose! NO JOKE! Flash forward three years, they are engaged. Phew! 

The newlyweds met at college their Freshman Year at St. Lawrence University. That is pretty impressive when it comes to commitment if you ask me. They both really are a pair, immediately seem meant to be, like their pulses are on the same wave length and they can read one another's thoughts. Calm, cool and collected they both were on their wedding day, a site you do not see everyday. 

The Bride Katerina is nothing if not tasteful and understated. Her mother Donna is a frequent party planner herself, spending decades assisting and planning charity events, as well as, her own social events at home. Surprising people with decor choices and other details was important to her as she really knew a good portion of their wedding attendees. Katerina on the other hand did not have those same experiences under her belt and cared very much about not appearing to try top hard or try too hard period. The day will be enough as it is - let's just hope for good weather. We did get fantastically perfect weather! 

We brought on Katherine from KDJ Botanica out of Westport, CT. Katerine and I totally speak the same language, truly finishing one another's sentence and knowing what the other is thinking before we say anything, when talking about decor that is! It is a treat to work with a talented florist that has the same aesthetic sensibilities. Chemistry is everything in life and she and I have it! 

What we love and what spoke to both Katerina and her mom Donna, was making sure color did not seem like a theme or too deliberate. Romantic and creative to an extent was necessary for them both to be pleased but also white and green alone was not enough. It would have been an easy choice given Katerina's own aesthetic but we worked hard to get the right balance or romantic color that seemed naturally occurring and also in muted tones. We did not want people to look at a picture and say something like oh they had a pink and tangerine wedding or a pink and yellow wedding...just a romantic wedding, fitting enough for the date and setting, with color blending well. 

The setting of this wedding was perfect. As CT wedding vendors know, The Greenfield Hill Church is a staple for weddings in Fairfield County, CT. It seemed to have been built for weddings! Ironically and so sweet, both the Bride's grandparents and parents had been married in the same church years ago! How remarkable is that! Also, this is such an open and welcoming church - no matter what your religion, you may want to visit on Sunday's after planning a few weddings here. The nicest people in the world run this congregation, on top of a cute picturesque hill in Fairfield, CT.

Then the wedding guests made their way down to one of the most stunning waterfront sections in the state of Connecticut. Country Club of Fairfield sits on a pristine portion of the Long Island Sound, with sunsets to die for - they will make you want to learn golf, if you can find a friend at this small club to sponsor you in order to go play! They also have really good shoe string french fries at the beach pavilion but I have gotten off track....

Having a Sperry Tent from Greenwich Tent Co. directly on the sand, waterfront, is a treat that planner's do not come across very often. 

Thank you to Glen Allsop of Christian Oth studio who we love. You captured the romance and twilight of the setting so well in your photos and thank you to The Light Mill for also capturing the mood so well in their wedding video. Cannot wait for the world to see these images in both the Over the Moon Blog (OTM) and in print in the pages of Fairfield Living Magazine. This will be our first Over the Moon Blog! We cannot wait to be featured on this gorgeous and discerning site. Many thanks to all people involved with making this happen! 

Enjoy! XO

Planning + Design | Ashley Douglass Events

Florals + Design | KDJ Botanical

Photography | Glen Allsop of Christian Oth Studio

Venue | Country Club of Fairfield

Band | 45 Riots

Cake | Lovely Cakes

Cinematographer | The Light Mill 

Lighting | Social Event Decor

Hair | Lachers: Hair by Demand

Make up | Emily Roznick

Tent | The Greenwich Tent Co.

Invitations | Sarah Parsons Invitation

Donut Station | Festivities

Cigar Rollers | Martinez Cigars

Piper | Jonathan Henken

Lounge Rentals | Gather and Lounge

Rentals | Nuage Designs

Rentals II | Party Rental LTD

Rentals III | True North Event Rentals

Rentals IV | Reserve Modern