(3/10) Top 10 things to remember when planning a wedding...the less superficial list.

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Three of Ten: Wedding planning can be simple if you know what the skilled planner knows.
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As always, what we write below does not apply to everyone.
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Right now, you may not believe that wedding planning can be simple but it’s true. So is the fact that what’s simple is hard. Wedding planning and any project, no matter its size, is simple if you have the time, experience, support and know what's ahead of you. It’s sometimes hard to accept what you learn as you move along because your assumptions will be tested. If it’s not time, experience, or a fear of the unknown getting in your way, then it’s your feelings about what’s happening, or things entirely separate from the project of wedding planning. If you don’t have the willingness to address all your feelings during this noteworthy time, then you are prone to project your feelings onto other things, such as your wedding planning.
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For some of you more than others, the time of your engagement and wedding planning brings up a ton of feelings. In other words, questions, expectations, fears, baggage from your childhood and your present-day insecurities. All normal stuff that is not all about shooting stars and fairy princesses. All normal stuff. You are not odd or alone in this.
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Take planning one step at a time and don’t fling your attention all over the place. Above all, hire help or enlist a levelheaded friend you trust. If you do hire help and your help has done this over 200 times to great success, trust them.
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Simplify your life a little so you can give yourselves time for all the things that come up this year, so that the actual wedding planning is simpler. If you take time for all your feelings, at the end of the road I promise that you will feel more ready, happy, and carefree on your wedding day.
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Don’t fall down the rabbit hole and have a year that is constantly in manic-mode and reassure yourselves by saying, it’ll all go back to normal once the wedding is over because it won’t, not entirely anyhow. If this describes you month after month after month after month, some other things are going on and after the wedding, when you crash, you will be left with the realities that you avoided beforehand.
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The process will be much simpler for you both if you get specific about the intention of your wedding. Yeah, yes, we know you want to celebrate with your friends and family, and for everyone to have a blast. But truly what is your wedding for and what is it not for? Aim your energy at the positive answer and try and let all the other bullshit fall away. Respect your own wedding - stick to your intentions. You are choosing to not just go to city hall for a reason, right? Well, why?

MEGAN + TIM | Montauk Lake Club | Montauk, New York

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Megan and Tim came to us pretty far in advance. In fact, they were the first to book for 2017 about 23.5 months out from their date and wisely so because they wanted to get married in Montauk. When they first booked they didn’t have a venue which is perhaps the hardest choice you will make. They are as familiar with the area as we are so in that regard making this choice wasn’t hard but pulling the trigger (or price tag) was. The variance of price amongst some venues out East is great. Learning where your priorities lay can take some time or change once you really delve into planning. In the end they chose the Montauk Lake Club because it was quiet, private, available over more preferred dates, and one of the more favorable options financially. It’s also a tented site so you can certainly do whatever you want inside the tent! The staff is very nice as well. ;-)

Megan and Tim both work a ton. I know everyone can say that these days but let me explain…..Ashley would have calls with Megan while she was in the middle of overnights. In other words, a night where she would sleep on her desk, in her office, at the law firm. YUP! Tim simultaneously worked full time while earning his MBA at Columbia University. Got enough on your plate? To add to the pot, the summer before their own wedding and the summer of their wedding, they attended more weddings than ADE planned. Now think about that…Working all the time and between the 18 or so weeks from Memorial Day to just past Labor Day, they attended more weddings than there are almost weekends. On top are the engagement parties for the year after, bachelor and bachlorette parties, not to mention their own parties! They are one of our couples that we refer to as ‘professional wedding attendees’!

Laid back and fun was most important for this weekend. Nothing stuffy, nothing formal and nothing that is truly not needed. Invites that made them excited, linens that popped with indigo, with lots of greenery and a great band! They booked their band just a week out from booking us! As I always do, I talked about music when I first met them. Very fast I knew they’d love this band and low and behold they were the same band a friend of theirs used that they loved and had forgotten the name of. Good thing we moved fast because often enough the Marcus Reid Band books upwards of two years out or more. They were a wild crowd that danced more than most, ties on heads, people on friends shoulders, you get the picture! This wedding was one of the most fun - hands down!

Photography below by Craig Warga Weddings 

Planning + Design | Ashley Douglass Events

Florals + Design | Blade NYC

Photography | Craig Warga Weddings

Venue | Montauk Lake Club

Gown | Vera Wang

Band | Marcus Reid Band from Hank Lane

Cinematographer | Orange Films

Hair & Make up | Blushington

Tent | Sperry Tents Hamptons

Invitations | Katie Fischer Design

Cake | Momofuku Milk Bar

Rentals | La Tavola Linen

Rentals | Party Rental LTD

RACHEL + DAVID | Ritz Carlton, Westchester, New York

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Every wedding is different as every family is different, let alone each couple and venue. Planning a wedding for a couple that has been together for over a decade has its own special characteristics too. Also, this is a second marriage for them both. The inclusion of children became most important, and sweet, and honoring both family members and friends that have been by their side through thick and thin, for decades. 

While most couples today want their ceremony to be over as soon as possible, it’s the ceremony we talked about most while planning this wedding. For one, limiting the bridal party was hard! Does the Bride and Groom keep it to friends or to family because having them both was just too many people! In the end we got very creative which made for a more personal, goose bump worthy ceremony. 

First in the processional came the Bride’s closest friends, some of which have become the Groom’s as well. These friends were coined “the flower friends”. They walked first and to assigned seats, which lined the ceremony aisle. Once they got to their assigned seats, they stood by their chair until it was time for them to sit. In their hands they carried a portion of Rachel’s bridal bouquet. Then came her closer family members - her niece, the Groom’s niece, siblings and then last, the Bride’s two daughters, all of which stood under the Chuppha with the Bride and Groom, and Rabbi. Rachel then walked the aisle by herself making her way from one flower friend to the next, building her bridal bouquet as she walked. Each piece was wrapped in ribbon with a heavy duty magnet inside to help keep the pieces together. Once she got to the Chuppha her long time friend and mentor, who sat in the front row, met her by the Chuppha. This friend has been in her life since they met at Summer camp when he was just a few years older and her CIT - “Counselor in training” for those of you who never went to camp! He helped her tie the pieces of her bouquet into one, and lifted her veil over her face as a father would, and helped her walk up to the Chuppha to meet her Groom. It was a tear jerker to say the least. Guests hummed to Do Di Lee along with the musicians.  

When it came to design, she would use the words such as lush, feminine and romantic. While she loved the pictures she accumulated that were more traditional for a ballroom or hotel setting, she also loved more modern weddings and couldn’t really make up her mind what direction she wanted to move. In the end she felt if she went too modern then she may regret it later on, so the sense of modern was minimal, such as chairs we chose. This is a common conversation that comes up with wedding gowns more often but for venue design as well. If I really express myself and how I feel today, will I regret not having been more traditional in design twenty years from now? For her the answer was yes.

The venue was chosen for a host of reasons and in the end, the main ingredient they wanted in a venue, which was to be by the ocean, was not possible. The couple resides in Westchester and needed the venue to be rather local to accommodate all the people they hoped to attend - more important than the ocean. Having hotel accommodations on-site to make the weekend easy for all far away family members, many of which have children, and to be close to the city, close to LaGuardia and close to their home. The Ritz in Westchester is located near metro north and there is another hotel that is brand new as of 2016 right around the corner for those that wanted to spend a bit less on accommodations.  The weekend started with dinner at a near by restaurant and ended on Sunday with guests being shuttled to the couples brand new home in nearby Rye, New York - something that was very important to them both. 

We got lucky that day on traffic. As sometimes is the case we watched WAZE like a hawk and all roads were clear, so the couple, along with their fabulous photographer we love so much, Roey Yohair, traveled to Greenwich to get in some waterfront photos.  Then on the way back they also managed to take a quick pit stop at their home in Rye, NY to include Ackerman, their family dog in the festivities. Then back to the Ritz in time for the Ketubah signing and ceremony. All roads where clear and gosh are we thankful. The risk was worth the reward said the bride and I was happy to oblige as long we the risks were understood. Thank you to the traffic gods!

Thank you to all the vendors that made this wedding exactly what the couple wanted it to be! They waited a awful long time for this day to come and they couldn’t have been more thrilled. I will never forget the look at Rachel’s face when she entered the reception room during cocktail hour and her jaw fell. She screamed, “My white dance floor, my big white dance floor” and began to dance as the band, The Carlos Estrella Band, warmed up. They were fabulous by the way and nailed the very much rehearsed first dance the couple had prepared with them for weeks beforehand. 

Photography below by Roey Yohair 

Planning + Design | Ashley Douglass Events

Florals + Design | Fleurs NYC

Photography | Roey Yohai Photography

Venue | Ritz Carlton

Gown | Austin Scarlett

Band | Carlos Estrella Band from Hank Lane

Cinematographer | First Day Films

Lighting | Social Event Decor

Make up | Amanda Shakleton

Gown Dresser | The Stylish Dresser

Invitations | Bella Figura

Caligraphy & Design | Sarah Hanna

Rentals | Nuage Designs

Rentals | Party Rental LTD