(9/10) Think of the guest's experience as the journey of where they are putting their attention.

Think of the guest’s experience as the journey of where they are putting their attention. 

Nine of ten: Things you need to remember when planning a wedding…the less superficial list. 

Where are their eyes going to go and how long are they going to be there? Where and when should surprises take place? When do guests need to just be and when do they need to be scooped back up into the moment?  

When are the up times and when are the down times? 

Does this crowd know each other? Do we want them to know each other more? Maybe they are content with more time in intimate conversation or maybe they are not. Maybe there is a way to get them to know each other better? Maybe this crowd hates "weddings".

When we can mingle outside our pods, post pandemic, will you seat people with people they don’t know? 

Do we like smaller clusters, covid or not? 

How far to the restroom? Can you move valet to a more convenient location for the end of night? 

The pieces have to line up easily and their attention needs to be captured continually. 

(7/10) People will remember how you made them feel, not how much your wedding was like its supposed to be.

Seven of Ten: Things you need to know when planning a wedding.

People will remember how you made them feel, not how much your wedding was like its ‘supposed to be’.

Seven of ten: Things to remember when planning a wedding...the less superficial list.

This is not to say that the ambiance and decor doesn’t evoke a feeling but impressing people is a very different intention than crafting feeling and experience.

To some degree people will feel how you feel about your wedding. They will enter the same headspace, and sense you wanted to impress and judge the same way you are judging yourself, trying to measure up.

If you are going over-budget or spending so much it makes you uncomfortable or you fear you may feel foolish after the wedding, than you have to take a step back and ask yourselves if it’s worth it.

If the answer is no, and spending what you are spending does not make you uncomfortable and spending ABC is necessary for you both to feel like you’ve created a day that truly expresses yourselves, then spend it! ✨

Less can be more and more can be more, just depends upon the song, and songs make you feel something. [Okay I tried too hard there, just couldn’t make a rhyme]

(3/10) Top 10 things to remember when planning a wedding...the less superficial list.

Three of Ten: Wedding planning can be simple if you know what the skilled planner knows.
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As always, what we write below does not apply to everyone.
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Right now, you may not believe that wedding planning can be simple but it’s true. So is the fact that what’s simple is hard. Wedding planning and any project, no matter its size, is simple if you have the time, experience, support and know what's ahead of you. It’s sometimes hard to accept what you learn as you move along because your assumptions will be tested. If it’s not time, experience, or a fear of the unknown getting in your way, then it’s your feelings about what’s happening, or things entirely separate from the project of wedding planning. If you don’t have the willingness to address all your feelings during this noteworthy time, then you are prone to project your feelings onto other things, such as your wedding planning.
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For some of you more than others, the time of your engagement and wedding planning brings up a ton of feelings. In other words, questions, expectations, fears, baggage from your childhood and your present-day insecurities. All normal stuff that is not all about shooting stars and fairy princesses. All normal stuff. You are not odd or alone in this.
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Take planning one step at a time and don’t fling your attention all over the place. Above all, hire help or enlist a levelheaded friend you trust. If you do hire help and your help has done this over 200 times to great success, trust them.
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Simplify your life a little so you can give yourselves time for all the things that come up this year, so that the actual wedding planning is simpler. If you take time for all your feelings, at the end of the road I promise that you will feel more ready, happy, and carefree on your wedding day.
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Don’t fall down the rabbit hole and have a year that is constantly in manic-mode and reassure yourselves by saying, it’ll all go back to normal once the wedding is over because it won’t, not entirely anyhow. If this describes you month after month after month after month, some other things are going on and after the wedding, when you crash, you will be left with the realities that you avoided beforehand.
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The process will be much simpler for you both if you get specific about the intention of your wedding. Yeah, yes, we know you want to celebrate with your friends and family, and for everyone to have a blast. But truly what is your wedding for and what is it not for? Aim your energy at the positive answer and try and let all the other bullshit fall away. Respect your own wedding - stick to your intentions. You are choosing to not just go to city hall for a reason, right? Well, why?