(5/10) Energy flows where your attention goes

Five of Ten: Top 10 things you must remember when planning a wedding….the less superficial list.

Energy flows where your attention goes. The energy multiplies and that place you put your attention will be the experience of your wedding.  

If you are focused on what other people will think of you, how they will evaluate your wedding, if they even do at all, then this is how you will arrive at your wedding day. Since when did a couple’s wedding day become synonymous with auditioning for a role in some society’s script? Oh it did, it was, long ago but aren’t we past that now? Maybe you are focused on how your own wedding will measure up to your friend’s wedding? Like you’re preparing to be picked for homecoming queen of instagram. This wedding, the celebration of the start of your own private marriage, is not a problem unless you make it so.  

You want to look your best so when you are old with sagging smile lines you can remember when you both were young and smoking hot. Do it! Have fun with it but if you are dipping into a crazy pants mindset, remember this special day isn’t first for anyone else but yourselves, and the people that support you just the way you are. 

Maybe for some, your wedding truly is an event that you have to go through the motions of a bit so that your family can live with you afterwards and your honeymoon is what you both name as the celebration of your union together? Maybe you come from a very religious family and you don’t subscribe to that religion anymore and you can’t bring yourselves to separate from it for this last one time. That’s okay, just admit it, make the intention clear to yourselves. Give it language. 

Maybe your wedding is a celebration of the growth you both are grateful to have made as individuals and in large part because of one another’s support? How have you changed for the better? How does this make traveling through life easier or more rewarding and probably both? 

Maybe you have already gone through a ton of hardship or even trauma together and you’re proud and touched that you are here together, committed.

Don’t ruin the year of your engagement by trying to be multiple people or please multiple people! Don’t ever do that anyway! What headspace are you returning to every time you think about your wedding?